January 2015 DEEP Body Love (Dive * Empower * Emerge * Play) Time to Play!

I love this image, it reminds me of reflections from within.  If this is what occurs for us in how we feel about ourselves and our body then we are living our gorgeous life the way we are meant too!

Heartfelt acceptance

Body, mind, spirit connect

Feel alive in bliss

Following on from January's Newsletter DEEP Body Love and January's Blog DEEP Body Love - Here's what I know ... this blog invites you to play!

Heartfelt dialogue

Why not have a go at this. Choose a time and a place where you will not be disturbed, knowing that you are giving yourself a few moments of just being, even 5 minutes, you will be surprised. Enjoy!


If you journal then you have probably used these types of prompts before, if not, I encourage you to be curious and play, simple as that. Try not to allow the left, logical brain to take over! Choose a book, paper, journal that gives you a smile when you think you are going to play with it.  If a blank sheet challenges you, draw a big heart to fill the page and write in the middle or do some scribbles and write over the top!!    
Have some crayons, actually the bigger the better as this often helps you to show up and play. I have many different types of pens, gel ones, glitter ones, felt ones.  When you answer 'Heartfelt dialogue' questions, it seems to encourage a more spontaneous answer.  You may choose to experiment, writing with your non dominant hand, big crayons, fine tip pens and see what happens. 

For our topic lets pick 'body' - our body.  The following are prompts that I invite you to complete. Write the actual prompt and then in a relaxed, playful way, allow your pen to move and reveal whatever comes up, no matter how silly or different it might sound. Suspend all judgment and see what happens.  Your are just playing, right! Have fun! 

So address your body:

• How do you like living in my world?

• What would you like to be different?

• How can I help you?

• How can you help me?

• How can I improve our relationship?

• How can we have more fun together?

• What I need from you is?

• I want to thank you for being here for me no matter what.  I want you to know that I am doing the best with what I know at the time and when I learn something different I will try different things.  I am learning.  I love you even though I may not it. 

Now, give yourself some time to be in this space!  Just notice what you notice. How may this experience connect you even just a little in developing a nurturing, nourishing relationship with you?  Even asking that question and letting it go will be of use! 

When I first did an exercise like this many years ago, I cried, to be hones,t and spent the next few days beating myself up and consequently my body up.  However, this is all part of the journey, we came through it and started a healing, more compassionate journey together.  

You may have a different experience. That is what I love about ARTbundance - (created by Marney Makridakis - Artellaland) where this exercise is from.  It is so personal to you, everyone has a different experience, in fact if you did this again tomorrow, next week, next month, you would probably have a different experience yourself. Well you will!  Give it a go and see. 

Why not gift your body this song and notice how she feels!  Enjoy. Celine Dion - I'm Alive

Give and Receive Support...The DEEP Body Love Facebook Page

May I invite you to my DEEP Body Love Face Book Page so that we can all support each other to feel alive, no matter what and embrace ourselves fully with the good, the bad and the ugly and oh so very beautiful too!

Wishing you DEEP Body Love

Love 
Liz 

This month’s  theme from DEEP Body Love Coaching is Play

DEEP – Phinspire's motto - means "Discover Empower Emerge Play". Here is May’s weekly coaching/blog series which continues from the DEEP Truth of the Month for May: Play is the elixir of life for our bodies, therefore ourselves!

“You are led through your life time by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being that is your real self.” Richard Bach – Illusions

Imagine for a moment if you believed this, that play connects you to you, the real you.  Would you then give yourself permission to play?  This will nurture and develop a healthy relationship with  yourself, resulting in experience less ‘hunger’ for emotion and spiritual needs. 

How can you have fun as you connect with your body?

Here are some ideas to get you started:

* painting your nails

* wearing perfume

* wearing makeup if you usually don't, or not wearing it if you usually do

* putting a ribbon/slide in your hair

* new jewellery

* using hand cream

* wearing a scarf

* having a massage

* playing on a bouncy castle

* jumping on a trampoline

* face painting

* singing

* dancing

If you are unsure ask your inner child she will have lots of ideas.

Try these prompts to get you started:

1. To have fun with my body I am going to … and will I do it by … 

2. I am looking forward to this because ... 

3. My body wants to tell me …

4. I want to tell it …

For more DEEP Body Love support, I invite you to take a look at my newest programme here. We can work with the relationship with your body, food, yourself, which leads to much healthier relationships with others too.  You can book a 30-minute complimentary consultation to get started!

I look forward to you joining me next month for the journey with compassion. What a difference this will make to your life!

Imagine how it feels to play – enjoy!

Have fun!

Love,

Liz

Transition - one life to another

"Well cannot believe it I submitted my final piece of home work for my ARTbundance Certification Training - wahoo. Did my presentation and 2 coaching sessions. Needs evaluating first. Cannot believe 20 weeks of learning a wonderful coaching approach that for me has been the missing link. I feel so blessed."

Wow, I cannot believe this.  I wrote this before the 26th June 2012, which was my last day as an Occupational Therapist with the District Health Board.  So much has happened since.   It is my 50th year and my husband's 60th year.  We have been celebrating a friend's 40th and 70th.  Honestly, we have been celebrating so much this year.  I could write so many blogs just about that. 

On the 27th at 2 am we left for the Airport.  Spent 4 amazing days in Sydney, love Darling Harbour and The Rocks and then boarded a 10 day cruise, which was so cheap - 70% off and spent most of the time at sea with 4 days on South Caledonian or Fijian Islands.  We only got of for 2 days.  Lazy I know and this was our whole purpose to experience what 10 days of 'chilling' would actually feel like.   Honestly I cannot believe how quick a day goes when you are doing nothing. 

It was incredible, I did so much journalling, reading and doing various exercises from the books I read.  There was so much transition that occurred on that trip never mind in my life.  I finally wrote all the things that I was embarrassed about, ashamed about and have never told a soul.  Nothing major in the scheme of things but enough to use as a 'beaty up stick' when needed.  I wrote about the things that traumatised me, angered me, frustrated me, saddened me (have to say I have been working on personal development for about oh lets see now 22 years - haha).

I torn up the paper I wrote them on into small pieces like confetti (bio degradable), which I then set free at the back of the ship.  Honestly it was amazing just how gracefully and beautifully it seemed to play in the wind, in the spray and on top of the waves.  What a great feeling.  So transition there. 

The ripple effects have been interesting and not as I expected.  I feel so much 'lighter' and funny that a person I met up with the other day actually used those words, when talking about my energy.  It is amazing just how hard it is to take time out but truly the space in priceless for what occurs.  And we can so create time, which I will blog about soon.

So transition in life.  At the age of 50 I feel as if I am starting out and I am.  I am now certified as an ARTbundance Coach and cannot imagine coaching any other way.  I use Results Coaching Systems and Kaizen Muse Creativity Coaching and honestly with Occupational Therapy what a package.  I am amazed how it all just works together.  Ok, Liz having said that I have been working towards this since 2005 and perhaps did not give it the attention it deserved.  Great excuses - sabotage, procrastination, too busy, not being good enough, fear of failure, fear of success and finally I am here - wahoo.

Up until May this year working for the YWCA was not even in my vocabulary and now I facilitate 3 groups for girls between the ages of 11 - 13 at 2 different schools.  Me Liz, who does not have children, who has never worked with children and  now this is my second week of a 10 week programme, which is about empowerment, self esteem, confidence, positive body image, communication skills.  I am creating stuff, activities to do with the girls.  Have to say the lady before me had done this programme and taught me and it is an established programme with the Y that I am tweaking. 

On Friday I had the first lesson of the Post Grad in Counselling, predominantly in narrative therapy.  Me Liz, doing this at 50.  For those that know me this is the 3rd time I have allowed myself to be here and actually do this and the approach I so love because it is similar to coaching in terms of belief in the client, that they have the resources etc.  It is an 18 month course and I cannot believe I am actually doing it.  Have to do 200 hours counselling next year and looking at placements  now.  My dream and the reason I am doing this is because I want to work with people who have experienced disordered eating. 

I figure that with all this experience and counselling to keep clients safe I can offer one to one stuff and group stuff in a creative way.  Telling the story, metaphors, etc.  As I write my fingers move too fast with excitement.  I have also implemented a plan for where I am taking more time out.  It seems as if this looks challenging and it is but I cannot believe that I truly have made time.  I am less on face book although value this tremendously and time myself more. 

I have time out for so many different things and am just having a ball.  When the home work starts, which it already has and I get busier, perhaps it may be a different thing.  I am also going to be training as a Master Coach with KMCC next week so wow.  Phew,  need to stop now.  My bed times now are 8.30 pm to read, 9.30 pm sleep.  Not quite managing it but not far off. 

At 50 and I guess it has been a gradual transition to an amazing life in my book.  This I could never have envisaged, not ever, ever which as a coach is challenging when we set goals with clients.  It so reinforces how important it is to check out what it is that you want to feel, what will make you feel the way you want to feel and where does it happen already.  Also, trying things on for size and just giving things a go.  Sometimes I have done that with clothes, If I choose one item I think ok well what would I not wear and take that in with me too.  Great fun.  Have bought a couple of things that I would not have but don't do that much shopping - haha.  

I love my life so much and it feels as if this is just the beginning.  I love my age, my stage when I am so much more settled in my own skin and content with who I am.  It has taken some time to get here and is a working progress but I think this age group has so much to offer.  A freedom somehow, an excuse to be a little bit out there.   Who knows and I would advise though is not to wait until 50 and give things ago way before now.  It truly is worth it.  I so promise you that.  It is magic when you listen to you and allow you to be you as a whole, embracing the darker parts as well as the lighter parts. 

Definitely time to go.  Listen to your passion.  What makes you smile, laugh?  What makes time pass by so quickly that you do not even notice?  When, where with whom are you most content, at your  best in terms of being be you, feeling easy in the company you are in.  Definitely time to go - haha. 

Love this from Kate Robertson's Face book

from Gun Gazing's Photos

 

Body Positive Coaching

Body Positive Coaching has been on my agenda for so long.  After having the privilege of attending the BWise - Body Image Leaders Programme where young people around the ages of 15 - 17 volunteer to be trained so that they can support other school children with developing confidence in who they are, fafacilitated by EDEN, Eating Disorder Education Network - Auckland, I have absolutely no doubt that we so need to get out there and support each other so that we can improve the future of everyone around this horrible distorted view of not feeling good enough for who you are and not what you look like and have what you have.  

These young people are taught body trust, how to develop body confidence, develop critical thinking and self esteem.  I asked a couple of them what motivated them do this, some have had disordered eating, or been caught up in the 'diet' mentality, at such an early age, others not.  What they all have in common is that they want to make a difference, they want to support peers and younger children to feel better about who they are, which I believe could also help these students to be more assertive in wanting to be treated better at school, ie not tolerating bullying etc.  I am so heartened by this programme and can see how over time it can raise so much awareness, education and support others by spreading. 

I then attended another workshop with EDEN by a Dr Anita Johnston from Hawaii, amazing woman, who has written a book called Eating by the Light of the Moon.  She talks about metaphors, stories and myths and how this can be used in recovery.  I will blog about this another time. 

What struck me was just how much this continues to be a problem and we so need to tackle it from so many different perspectives.  What seems fundamental is raising awareness, increasing confidence, self esteem and connection to our bodies, the valuable, trust worthy and the most honest resource that we will ever have in our lives is the way through and of course takes time. 

We really do need to support each other to 'get it', to see the truth.  It almost feels like that movie the Truman Show in which a guy is bought up on a TV set, believing it is real until he discovers it is not.  It is my intention now to do what ever I can as a coach as a person to support organisations like EDEN, anyone who can support others and to coach as many people as I can to gain insight into who they really are from the inside out. 

If you have any ideas or would like me to do a workshop, please, please let me know.  We are so good enough and deserve the best and I promise you it is so possible to get through all of this, I know I have done it.  :-)

I Want To Be Somebody New - Dont Make Life Weight - Living Life From The Inside Out

"Once I wanted to be in the zoo.  And that was the day I first met you.  You said that the zoo was not for me.  The circus, you said, was where I should be.  From the book under the Dr Zeus label Beginner Books, written by Robert Lopshire.

I first read this children's book in 1996 and for some crazy reason bought in Scotland cost all of 2.99 Stirling pounds.  (Don't have the symbol on my key board).  It has travelled far and now lives in New Zealand.  For some reason yet again, I was thinking about the Don't Make Life Weight blog and this just was around. 

It is a lovely story about a creature called Spot, who listened to someone else telling them what to do because well they thought it was a good idea.  From then on the creature continually changes to fit in, to do the right thing, constantly changing the outside shape, continually not feeling right but trying all the same.

Finally on the eve of Spot changing their shape yet again "Oh, no you don't! You stop right there! We like and we really care.  We liked you best, a whole, whole lot, when you were just our old friend spot.  So do you trick with your one, two, three ...  But show us what we want to see!  Say! You are right!  As right can be!  And it does feel best to be just me!

I wonder how many times we try to change ourselves, particularly the outside of us to fit in, to think we have to look a certain way.  Sometimes we do it with new people and forget they were attracted to us in the first place because of who we were anyway and yet we think we need to be not who we are.  I really like this story because it is a reminder that no matter what shape you are on the outside it really is the inside that counts. 

I know I have for years tried to change the outside of me so many times and so many times have succeeded but did not feel that great about myself still, which just made me feel worse.  It has only been by learning to accept myself compassionately, which has taken years by the way, not that it needed to but it just did!  I only needed to get to feel good enough and when you get there magic, truly happens.  Thank goodness that self help has changed and is much more realistic, eg we need to feel all of our feelings emotions, connect to something we love doing just because we love doing it.  Creativity, what ever form, have fun are key to everything else.  I promise.

How would it be to consider a time, situation you may be in right now where you are not feeling good enough and have tried to change the outside to make it happen.  What if even for 30 secs you acted as if you feel good enough inside, what would you be doing differently.