My Own White Knight in Shining Armour. Part 3 of 3

This will be that last of this kind of blog, lengthy.  :-) 

I want to share some prompts so you can explore your own story.  Need to say that there are a lot of prompts and it will be quite a journey that may occur in several trips.

Thank you to Gayle Bodiene - FB for this image. 

Your White Knight in Shining Armour is you as a whole, including your inner child.  In fact she/he is your strongest asset that you will ever have. 

Narrative Therapy is about telling a story, reflecting on how you see it, your version, no should's, have to's, just as it is for you. 

It considers where some of the beliefs may have come from, school, parents, TV, media etc and then supports a person in 're-authoring' their life in a way that works for them.  Part of the journey involves externalizing not only what appears obvious, eg if anxiety is a challenge then separating that out from ourselves, so you may be Fred (my favourite name) say who happens to experience anxiety, you are not anxiety.  It also externalizes what really is happening for a person and this of course takes time to really get down to what impacts on a person. 

Caveat here - I am so not telling you what Narrative Therapy is, I am only a third of the way through my training.  What I am doing here is picking out the bits that best help you discover, trust, identify your White Knight in Shining Armour. 

OK, I will take the inner critic as a subject, you can use anything.  This inner journey can be emotional and tiring, so please look after yourself with nurturing and compassion.  What you are doing here is getting a real snap shot of your experience, story the inner critic or whatever topic you have chosen and externalizing it.  It is not you, you are you, who has many aspects just a like a crystal. 

If the inner critic (topic) is a challenge for you, it is useful to be really specific about how and in what way.  Write a story and be as explicit as possible in what it may say to you.  How does it say it?  When does it say it? 

How do you respond?  Do you believe it?  What do you do?  How do you feel?  What impact is this having on your life?  Does it affect work, play, relationships, your dreams, who you are?

How do you feel about these developments?  Is this ok for you?  Does it have a negative impact or a positive one, both or neither?  Are these experiences ok with you?

Why do you feel the way that you do?  Why is/isn't this ok with you?  Can you explore a story in your history that could throw some light on why you are perhaps unhappy about this situation?

OK, you may need a break.  You so do not need to do this all in one sitting. 

Writing prompt
I looked out the window and saw (topic) inner critic it was .....
I immediately noticed .....
Inner critic (topic) then .....
What I realised was that inner critic (topic) was .....

Just notice what you notice.

Can you think of a time when you challenged the inner critic?  A time when the inner critic did not want you to do something and you did it anyway, successfully? 

What is this alternative story?  Be really specific, full of details.  When did this occur?  What actually happened?  What did you do?  How did you feel?  Did someone witness this?  What did this mean to you?

How did this align with your values, with who you want to be, with your beliefs about life?  What realisations did you experience?

This would have been a time where you would have allowed the essence of who you are to emerge.  The center of a 'self', expressing purpose, values, beliefs, aspirations, hopes, commitments.  Willfully engaging and embracing life.  Adapted from Micheal White's Maps of Narrative Practice - 2007.

Where in your past have you stood up for yourself against the inner critic.  Think back and again be really specific.  What you are identifying is that you so have what it takes to act in ways that serve you, you have done so many times before. You have challenged the inner critic (topics) before.  We just forget what we do and how successful we were.  We forget how good that felt and and we can access this knowing when we need to. 

What is extremely useful here is to identify a person, whether living or not who has witnessed you standing up to the inner critic.  It may have been even as a child.  Someone who could be a testament for you.  Ask them a question, great if you actually can but if is it not possible then imagine how may they respond if they were asked to share that story with you, me with someone else.  What would they say about you?  How do you think they would feel about you?  How are you feeling?  What would you want to say to them?   What could they say that would support you now with what you are dealing with?  What would they want you to know?  What would you want them to know?

Phew, love and compassion, this is quite a journey.   

This distance you have travelled just in these journal questions is huge.  I want to acknowledge you for that.  So again Michael White (2007) mentions that traversing the gap between the known and familiar to what is possible now is quite a profound journey, a sense of what he calls 'personal agency', a sense of being able to regulate your own life, to affect by your own intentions, which is shaped by your own knowledge, experience of life and skills of living.

You are your own brilliant White Knight in Shining Armour.  Your crystal sparkles wonderfully and brightly and holds many facets, which you can use in your life.

What would be one small beautiful step that you could take now to continue living your life as you see it?   And now I ask, what would be one way that you could acknowledge this journey and celebrate you.   Please do this.  You SO deserve it.

Writing prompt
I looked out the window and saw me, the White Knight in Shining Armour, she/her was .....
I immediately noticed .....
Me, I, the White Knight in Shining Armour then .....
What I realised was that me, I, the White Knight in Shining Armour was .....

White, M (2007).  Maps of Narrative Practice. W W Norton & Company, Inc. New York, England: London