"When you refrain from habitual thoughts and behavior, the uncomfortable feelings will still be there. They don't magically disappear. Over the years, I've come to call resting with the discomfort "the detox period,"
because when you don't act on your habitual patterns, it's like giving up an addiction. You're left with the feelings you were trying to escape.
The practice is to make a wholehearted relationship with that." Pema Chodren
This was posted on a Kaizen Muse Creativity Coaching group site where, which part of the training. Thanks very much to Nina. As I journey through this training again, this time as an intern to be a Master Coach, trainee mentor at the same time as studying as a Post Grad in Counselling - narrative therapy, I notice more and more about blocks, obstacles, behaviours, what holds us back. Both in the coaching and counselling we are reminded just how much of what we believe and our behaviours can come down to habitually thinking and could be argued feeling, if we are reacting to the thoughts. We really do have habitual behaviours. I am gaining more clarity from the amazing teachers, lecturers regarding how we can be more comfortable with disappointment and the discomfort of that because we are use to that.
I know for myself I have sat in the discomfort of the known and have not been so willing to sit in the discomfort of unknown because of fear, not wanting to feel and yet I am still in discomfort regardless. Habit is so powerful, could you imagine creating new habits, small step, by small step and which could actually develop into a wonderful new habit that serves us.
If you think about it but not for too long, we know what discomfort feels like and we will handle it, so how would it be to use that tenacity to be in discomfort for a short period of time, knowing that it can develop a new habit that eventually will allow us to enjoy aspects of ourselves that are really pretty cool. Of course, this sounds easy and sure the strategy can be simple but it is not easy.
I would agree whole heartedly that when you stop one thing, a habit, there is a space, a gap and so creating a new habit could be supportive. How would it be to consider the things that you do not normally have time for. Could you learn to sit with feelings with compassion and small glimpses of what it feels like, talking, journalling, drawing, sketching about it. Even just trying it for 30 secs at a time and then distract yourself with something else. Please know that there is of course much more to it than this but we can start some where.
What if we recruited both our right brain and left brain into creating new habits. Using creativity and activity to support us with the next small beautiful step to move more forward to perhaps day dream of ways that we could play before trying to create a new habit to help us live the life we are meant to, create habits that serve us.
What if - I just so love that question. What if we considered things that may bring us pleasure. Checking in with what worked for us before? What did you enjoy doing and just have not had time for, given yourself permission for. When is the last time you played. There is so much to having the motivation to changing, although to be honest I would agree with others to not even try to change a habit.
I would support creating a new one, by starting with even a small question, like what would be one small fun step that I could take and not trying to answer it. Just putting it out there and see what happens. If you do get an answer, go for it. Right now I am in the middle creating a new habit and my values and who I want to be motivates me, has taken me a while to get here I have to say. What would motivate you to choose a new habit that serves you and how you do things differently? After the first 3 answers, trying adding another 5 and see what happens.
"No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it."
Albert Einstein, Swiss-German-American physicist
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